Negative self-talk is a destructive habit and part of
an essential defense mechanism that we often develop to
protect ourselves. Many people end up talking themselves
out of actions that may be scary or uncomfortable. "I
can't do this" is really just a way of saying "I
don't want to deal with the experience of doing this."
We are all strongly influenced by our feelings, often determining
how and what action we ultimately take. If the feeling is
uncomfortable, negative self-talk results; then we often
decide not to take any action at all.
Many people assume that if a past experience produced a
certain result, there is nothing they can do to change that
experience in order to produce a different result. "I've
tried every diet there is. I know what I should do; I just
can't do it."
Please understand that you can make the choice not to repeat
old patterns of eating, non-exercise, and negative thinking.
You have the ability to choose the emotions you have. If
you don't like feeling guilty, frustrated, or doubtful,
you can choose not to. You, and no one else, must decide
what is comfortable for you. In order to become successful
at making healthy choices, you must avoid negative self-talk
and start practicing positive thinking.
Positive or negative self-talk plays a big part in your
decisions. Be on the "look-out for negative self-talk
and notice how it influences your choices; notice how it
can negatively affect your efforts to change. For example,
perhaps you've just returned from a week's vacation where
you took a break from exercise and low-fat eating. You tell
yourself, "I feel so fat. I'm back where I started."
You feel guilty and frustrated. "I don't have enough
will-power to start all over again. Maybe I'm just meant
to be overweight." Feeling overwhelmed and discouraged,
you give up.
First, reflect on the feelings you had before you decided
to give up. You basically told yourself that the healthy
habits you learned before your vacation were all for nothing
and that you have to start over. Ask yourself if these feelings
are reasonable. Are you really back to ground zero? Of course
not. You accepted change and developed a new way of living;
these skills are yours forever. The vacation might even
have done you some good: everyone needs a break sometimes.
Otherwise, you might have felt deprived and not really enjoyed
yourself. It's time now to tell yourself: "It felt
good eating whatever I wanted and taking a break from exercising;
I had a great time. But now I'm going to focus back on the
low-fat, active lifestyle I was enjoying before vacation.
There is no reason to beat myself up; I'll just take it
one day at a time." Now you can rethink your previous
decision and take action that will move you forward towards
more positive change.
As you begin to understand your reasons for negative self-talk,
you'll findyourself recognizing it more and more quickly
after it occurs. Eventually, as you practice, you'll be
able to recognize and stop negative self-talk before it
interferes with your decisions.
It is very important to practice positive thinking and
to remind yourself that you're a worthwhile person whatever
you do. Try to consistently acknowledge that you are making
positive changes to improve your health. You should be proud
of yourself. Visualize yourself as capable, happy, and confident.
These positive feelings will help the process of change.
Remember, there are bound to be times when you're feeling
frustrated or depressed. Positive thinkers know that these
feelings are valid, and they don't try to ignore them. Positive
thinkers acknowledge and try to understand them, but they
don't blame themselves for the conditions that lead to these
feelings. Good luck, stay positive, and enjoy all the wonderful
benefits of a healthy lifestyle!
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