Gah, the plateau hits again.

[phat chick]

Wow hammertech that's intense. How are things going now?

My first incredibly bad break up i was on sleeping pills and paxil. I think for a few months....2-3, can't remember. I stopped before talking to the dr. I just wanted to be off them. The sleeping pills i tried to use sparingly and even so, there were some nights that i would take one and still couldn't sleep.

Getting to the gym was almost worse, as the guy i broke up with was also my best friend and my training partner. We were in the gym 6 days a week never without eachother.

In fact that's when i started martial arts---i took some time away from the weight room and focused on something new with NO associations to previous bf. It was nice too, to have something that was both physical and mental.

When you're THAT sick from stress & emotions, you have to focus on making those better first. Then the body will follow. LIke i said, unfortunately you really can't force feed anyone (short of putting an IV in their arm with saline solution or whatever it is) no matter how bad they need it. I couldn't down my food and just didn't eat it, but in my friends case she actually threw it up (even small protein shakes). And not self-induced throw up. She could barely even keep water down.

It's amazing the power of hte mind. This works in reverse as well (visualization and mental training in sports).

[HammerTech]

I like what someone said on another board - 80% of this game (and in many fascets of life too) is mental. I'm doing great now, off the meds and feeling good and getting stronger all the time. All I train for is personal edification at the moment more so than any competition - and guys like Boyd and hrpii have been so instrumental in helping me find my way on that path.

[phat chick]

Originally Posted by HammerTech

- and guys like Boyd and hrpii have been so instrumental in helping me find my way on that path.

They are great! They've kicked my ass a few times in the past ;-P

[Gill]

Though a much milder case, a similar situation is what finally got my ass up and in the gym, Hammer. My girlfriend of 6 years whom I shared everything in my "adult" life with, from first kiss to first intimacy, broke up with me because of my religious beliefs (or lack thereof) that she knew about the entire time.

As most men tend to do, I blamed myself and my physical appearence as the culprit. I started running 2-3 times a day until my legs went numb. On top of that, I wasn't eating much at all and the little I ate wasn't appropriate. After my self-loathing waned, I started to channel anger outward towards people I would never usually be curt with. I sat down one night and decided to direct my frustration and want of a better physique to the proper recourse... the gym.

Honestly, working out has been the best therapy of my life.

[RyanLRams]

Originally Posted by phat chick

Yeah us girls often make jokes that the two best diets ever are a break up or mono.

I"ve never had mono, but i've been through two really painful breakups in my life. Also seeing close friends go through painful breakups... there really isn't much you can do to force feed someone. It's really great though, that she has such a good friend (you!) who cares.

When you're going through that kind of stress, you're literally going to throw up anything you eat. Eventually your appetite will return (for me it was with a vengeance!), but it can take months. Plus your stress and extremely high cortisol is unfortunately causing major weight loss and not choosing between which type of tissue (fat or muscle) it's eating away at.

Until she becomes at peace with her situation (which is time and mental & emotional work) sometimes having her sip on something liquid is easier than a solid meal. Ideally a protein shake of sorts. But in this instance...ANYTHING with calories would be a good idea.

I really feel for this girl. I hope she's okay. It's good to see she's got friends like you and i hope her family is there? Just as well the dad isn't in the picture anymore!

LOL. You misunderstood. The divorce is being nasty because the guy she was with is a real P.O.S. and rather verbally abusive. She, luckily I guess, was pretty much over him emotionally years before she finally told him to leave. The stress is related to supporting herself and three kids alone. Getting further in debt every passing month because he doesn't pay bills or help financially. Having the car re-possessed because, even though court ordered, her soon-to-be ex stopped making car payments. When she does talk to him, it is rather vicious. Her life is pretty tough and I am there to help her as much as I can. Anyways, I guess she will come around eventually...

Thanks for the help!

[Gill]

You seem like a Grade A dude, Ryan.

[phat chick]

Ahhhh gotcha Ryan.

I have to go, hopefully i'll get to this tomorrow. So her eating issue mainly stems from a financial perspective?

Good for her for kicking him to the curb!!

[RyanLRams]

Originally Posted by phat chick

Ahhhh gotcha Ryan.

I have to go, hopefully i'll get to this tomorrow. So her eating issue mainly stems from a financial perspective?

Good for her for kicking him to the curb!!

Not financial. She just doesn't ever have an appetite. I think you hit it on the head when you were talking about stress and how when you have bad eating habits and don't eat regularly, that you body stops being hungry to a certain point. I was just wanting to know if I can get her to eat more and regularly. Most likely it is a futile fight.

[phat chick]

Yeah unfortunately i don't think there is much you can do. Some people are SOOOO "stuck" in that mentality that you have to not eat in order to lose weight. I think it could be a combination of this AND her stress causing lack of appetite AND her metabolism shutting down or significantly slowing so she's not as hungry.

Perhaps you're only option is to set a good example. And i know you are eventually (hopefully) she'll become interested in what you are doing and start to make an effort to learn more. It's like an acloholic, you can't just make them quit. It's hard because you watch them do this to themselves and slowly deteriorate. I have an alcoholic in my family (actually a few). It is very hard to deal with.

Wow we've touched on a lot of things in this thread!! LOL

[Gill]

So how about those Dodgers?

[phat chick]

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[Gill]

Pretzels are my kryptonite. I use to eat them by the bags full. I can't stop with just a few. I haven't touched one since I started dieting because if I do, I'll probably gain all 60 pounds back in a week =p

Oh but it would be a good week...

[RyanLRams]

I like the big phatty pretzels from the mall. either the ones coated in butter or the ones coated in cinnamon and sugar.... dammit, now im hungry. Where is that snickers ba... i mean apple?

[phat chick]

haha i was quoting seinfeld ;-P

I would love ANY carbs right now.

Ryan, I don't want to be seeing no snickers bar in fitday!!! ;-P

[RyanLRams]

LOL. No, I promise. I am actually eatting two slices of whole grain bread and 4 ounces of Turkey.
Plain.
Not even together. I don't like how they taste together unless I use lots of mayo and since I'm not eating the mayo, I'd rather just eat it all seperatly

[phat chick]

hahaha. That is true. With the bread, do you eat the crust then squish & roll ythe center to make a ball?? My sister taught me this when i was a kid, she called it "chinese bubblegum" although i have NO clue where she came up with that one LMAO.

That kind of reminds me how I used to be real bad (this was long before i was "dieting" or bodybuilding). No foods on my plate could touch eachother and i ate each section at a time.

Okay i really think i am obsessive-compulsive.

[RyanLRams]

Did you have to tap your knife on the butter tub three times before you could scoop out an butter? THATS O-C! (not that i do that)

And I think the crust is the best part.

[biglc0]

So, sorry I went AWOL.

Keeping this short.

Talk about stress...

Tested positive for both types of ADHD. So serious my doctor thinks it's literally a learning handicap. (worst results he's seen in an adult in years, mind you I'm 18).

Prescribed me Adderall. **** sucks. I have no motivation to do jack ****, it's working as a downer instead of an upper I guess? Can't focus on anything which adderall is supposed to make you do. I have no energy, no motivation to do **** when I'm on this. I guess I have to up my dosage because I'm below the normal stage. What I'm taking now I don't think is putting me at the normal state of mind, so I have to get to that normal state of mind + over drive to actually be able to learn and do things. I can't eat, can't sleep. Guess my diet **** is done until I find the right dosage. ....sigh..

[phat chick]

wow big that's crazy stuff. I spent a lot of time "big sistering" this 11 year old girl who had severe ADHD and man, there were times i wanted to pull my hair out!!!

Please don't give up. I think eating right will in fact help your situation. But i don't have ADHD and i can't imagine how it must be like first hand. Keep hanging around the boards if you can, hopefully we can keep you motivated and lend you a helping hand.