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01-05-2007, 12:54 AM
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Getting stood up.
I'm 25 and recently started talking to this girl that just turned 21 (i know, i know).
Basically, long story short, we started to talk before I went to Florida to visit family. I was gone for two weeks, and I saw her the next day after I got back. She actually invited me to her house to have something to eat, and because her mom and dad like to know who she is seeing. They are actually pretty cool parents (early 40's). Tonight, she calls me, and says she wants to do something when she gets home from her sister's house, since her parents were coming to say hello to her sister's family, and to bring her home since her car recently was totaled. She calls at 9:30 to say she will call when she gets home. No call up to 12:00AM, so I visit some friends at a club. LOL, she's at the club. I say hello to a lot of familiar faces and she actually came with a group where I know some of the people, so I just said hello and smiled and took her hand and walked away. I come over to her later and say whats up. She tells me how she feels so bad, and her mom even knew I was going to get mad (the the f*ck wouldn't?.) Best thing is that I did not act upset at all, since we are only talking. She's hugging me and saying sorry, and asking if I am going to call her again. Her excuse, which is somewhat valid, is that she doesn't have a cell phone since it flew out her window when she got into the accident (this is fact) and that she didn't have my number and her friend saw her getting out of her car when she got home and told her to get in since they were going out. My question is, what should I do? I was raised in a Sicilian family and usually in a case like this I call it a wrap and don't pursue it, but I think she is a good girl, and made a mistake. I do believe in second chances, and I have gotten more than 3 chances in certain circumstances. I know this thread is on the petty side, but I am more so discussing the principle of the fact, and that's the concept of forgiveness. It's a new year and want to make sure I appreciate what comes to me and give everything I come across a fair chance. I am wondering if I should just forget about this girl and move on, or give it a second chance since we are only talking and she doesn't really have any obgligation to me. Not sure what to do, right now I think she has a feeling I'm not going to call her. Maybe I should just wait for her to call me, then I know how she feels, but then again she may never call since she feels like such an idiot. I tell ya though, nothing beats "knowing" exactly what happpens lol. I should have never let her known I was there, so I could have seen what her excuse was the next day, then my decision would have been much easier to make since I don't date liers. Damn, so hard to find a normal girl these days. Oh well, thanks to whoever is bored enough to read this post. 
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01-05-2007, 01:03 AM
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dont play the 'good boy' and sweep things under the carpet, give luvs n huggles etc.
she stood you up, your pissed... she has a valid excuse which is cool but she has to make it up to you. Letting her off the hook now will set the tone for future engagments with her. 'I can mess him about and he'll be fine with it'  make her do the running around for the next date, make her do all the leg work to see YOU, not the other way round. keep sight of your balls and you'll be fine 
__________________
Trample the weak.....hurdle the dead
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01-05-2007, 01:26 AM
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i doubt she will call u, even if she likes u most of em wont being themselves to do it as its 'suposed to be' the guy chasing etc. i personally wouldnt call her back either, she might have an excuss but she didnt call when she said she would, she has to make it up to u, not the other way around. dont take any ****...
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01-05-2007, 01:50 AM
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Bulk and Warrior you two kill me.
 Johnnyb, are you serious? So she didn't call! So what. You saw her anyway and she had a reasonable response. It's not like you walked into the club, saw her with some other guy, and she ignored you or tried to play it off. Tell her her how you felt. Damn! If communication in a relationship is so important, why the heck play games? I agree with the 2 other posts that I would not go out of my way to kiss this persons butt, but I would certainly let her know why you might act a bit differently towards her.
__________________
Papasmurf: "there are no miracle supplements, fix your diet" http://www.bodybuildingforyou.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39994
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01-05-2007, 02:04 AM
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its not games at all, if it was a game then you imply that only a few play it... when women all over the world pull things like this its called 'female nature'.
Its not sexist, its true... women dont admit to it as they dont know they are playing a game. sure you i will get a few female replies saying that they never play games, that they have known of. everyone has played a game on a potential mate, i call out anyone who says they havent sure, call her and tell her how you feel... if she really was into you you would of heard somthing... move on
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Trample the weak.....hurdle the dead
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01-05-2007, 02:21 AM
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Hee Hee, right Bulk. I know of too many women that just enjoyed watching potential suitors jump through hoops. Yes it was a game to them. I am sure that I was playing without actually realizing it at the time. Now that I am *coughs* wiser, I just call a Spade a Spade. If I am pissed, I'll tell ya. If I think a chick is hot, I'll tell them. If you look like Cammo and want a date, I'll call animal control!
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Papasmurf: "there are no miracle supplements, fix your diet" http://www.bodybuildingforyou.com/forums/showthread.php?t=39994
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01-05-2007, 02:58 AM
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soo....
I was thinking about seeing her at work tomorrow and telling her whats up. I want to ask her what she would do if she was in my position and see what she says. Then I am going to tell her that we are only talking, and everyone deserves a second chance. I'm going to tell her that I wont be able to hang out tomorrow night since I actually do have plans with friends, but put it on her to hang out after that.
What do you guys think?
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01-05-2007, 03:21 AM
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Just communicate with her bro. Tell her how you really feel, but don't be a pushover either. Women don't respect that and you need to respect herself.
I don't think you should write her off though - everyone makes mistakes.
__________________
The Resident Training Log Ballbuster.
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01-05-2007, 04:13 AM
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__________________
The Nintendo Wii: "It's a good idea but I dont see a grown ass man swinging the controller like a sword." -Lifter101
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01-05-2007, 04:13 AM
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sounds good 
__________________
Trample the weak.....hurdle the dead
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01-05-2007, 11:48 AM
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__________________
Age - 17 Height - 5'10'' Weight - 160 BF% - 8% Bench - 185 (weak, wanna go WAY up..) DB Bench - 75's Squat - 245 Deadlift - 300
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01-05-2007, 12:50 PM
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Im sorry; I don't know her or the type of person she is or personality. But that excuse doesn't fly with me. You said you know some of the people in the group she was in? Do they ahve your number by chance?
She knows where you live right? Im sure if you had 100 of her dollars and her favorite pair of shoes, she would find a way to get your number. If I was in your shoes, i'd be moving on. Regardless of the pity party she dropped on your saying she was sorry, etc etc etc. I've had this done to me before and I went the "sucker" route, forgive n forget, etc, only to have it reoccur again later down the road. Hate to say drop the girl tho n miss out, like said above people do make mistakes and her excuse could really be valid.
__________________
Breathing new life - back into me. Challenging all - powers that be...
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01-05-2007, 02:10 PM
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i think you should just ask her what she wants from you.
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01-05-2007, 09:31 PM
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Tonight, she calls me, and says she wants to do something when she gets home from her sister's house, since her parents were coming to say hello to her sister's family, and to bring her home since her car recently was totaled How was she able to tell him her car was totaled if she lost her cell phone in the same accident?
__________________
The Nintendo Wii: "It's a good idea but I dont see a grown ass man swinging the controller like a sword." -Lifter101
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01-05-2007, 11:29 PM
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if she really wanted to she couldve got ahold of u, theres always a way... shes just 1 more chik playing her games, better b careful, wont b long til shes pulling the strings and making u dance  , hahahaha.
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01-08-2007, 02:09 AM
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Lol
Wow, I didn't think you guys were still going at this, I was unable to sign on for the past few...anyways...
I would explain the deal with her calling and not being able to call, but the situation has been resolved.. Went to her job and saw her and we spoke for a little while and I basically got to know her a little more and figured out she is still very young, and being that she JUST turned 21, she just wants to go out. I'm not going to pursue a girl that wants to go live the party life, I need someone that wants to party once in a while, but that isnt their priority right now. Being 25, and through college and starting a company, I have a good amount of responsibility. I def need to see eye to eye with someone when it comes to dating women. Also, the first time we hung out I didnt drink cause I dont drink and drive. The girl says to me "and i like to go out with my boyfriend and drink...like my ex used to drink when we went out, thats the risk you take when you go out." NO KIDDIE, THATS NOT THE RISK I TAKE WHEN I GO OUT.... That comment was pretty much the stake in the heart, since I have friends who's lives were almost ruined for getting DWI's, and I know people that have been in accidents due to drunk drivers, so that hit home pretty hard. Back to the maturity concept, I know how it was for me when i turned 21 and I actually look back and feel bad for the girls that had to deal with my sh*t cause all i wanted to do was go out and have fun with friends. Yes, i gave her a second chance, but it's deeper than that. The real question I had to ask myself was "is this girl really someone that is a potential?" And i realized she wasn't.... More importantly, I think its f'in amazing how a lot of you guys came through, since even though a lot of the advice were personal opinions, they were sincere. It's cool that we can kinda "chill" on the forum and talk about stuff and get each other's unbiased opinions. I approach life based on prinicple and try to view everything from multiple angles, so I found it pretty impressive how everyone had their own twist to wat they thought was an appropriate way of handling the situation. Thanks a lot guys, JohnnyB
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