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06-19-2006, 12:50 PM
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Divorce advice...
Ok- if I were to tell the whole story it would take hours. SO long story short here is what is going on:
Been married 10 months. My wife does whatever her mom tells her to do. Her parents dont like me because I am "uneducated". They are face value people who both make 6 figures and I am a 22 year old kid who never went to school but I make ends meat which is all that matters to me. So needless to say they "dont approve". My inlaws are crazy rude and have done nothing but interfere with our relationship since day 1. Well I stupidly said yes to my wife on going on vacation with her parents for 2 weeks in daytona. Once again- long story short they yelled at my wife for something stupid and made her cry- I stuck up for her and an hour later shes on her mom's side because I went "overboard" and I need to apologize. I wouldnt and by the end of the vacation her mom had her talked into a seperation. So we get back and she leaves for what was supposed to be a couple days and lives with her parents. Then she calls me and says that she thinks she wants a divorce. This was 2 months ago. The first month we remained in contact but now she wont talk to me. I even think she may be seeing another guy (friends have seen her and I did a little surveying the other night and saw a suspicious car at her parents house...turned out to be a guy.). I was waiting for her to file because I dont want the divorce. I love her more than anything and have treated her like a princess from day 1. So if she wants it I told her she has to pay for it. Well now all this ****s going on- like my mail all got forwarded to her house and I was not getting my bills. I tried to send her flowers like 2 weeks ago and before she could get home to get them her dad drove them BACK to the flower shop... Needless to say I am lost as a person right now and really hurt. I feel destroyed mentally, physically and I am just not dealing with it well. ON the way down to FL we were talking about kids...the way back shes telling me that she hates me. Its taken its toll on me and I am just generally down and depressed. I keep hoping shes going to come home but she wont even talk to me. My dad thinks that they are purposly screwing with me so that I will file and pay for it. WE dont have anything to split asset wise. I am to the point now that I think shes seeing another guy where I just dont want to deal with it anymore. I mean I still love her and I dont have 100% proof that she is seeing someone else but its a possibility...and if its true I just dont want to deal with it anymore. Any advice/encouragement would be much apreciated. Thanks. Rob.
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[=Digitalrob=] "Animal...its a lifestyle." -24 years old -230 @ 12% -6'3" Goals For Rest of 2008/Early 2009 Weight: 250 
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06-19-2006, 01:09 PM
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Bro, you are 22 years old, you have the rest of your life to find your true soul mate. Do you love her cause she makes you happy, or do you love a memory of when you guys were together. Sounds like her family tells her waht to do, and by far is the biggest problem in a marriage. A marriage is between two people. I wish you the best in your decision, Just remember bro. You have more time than life. Follow you true feelings.
Hope this helps.
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If I am not back in five mins wait longer.!!
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06-19-2006, 01:23 PM
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I mean its all a memory now that she is not around- thats all I got. BUT when we were together we had our ups and downs just like any relationship but she did make me truly happy.
Now that I look back I can see how I got walked on a lot by her and her family, I didnt see it then. I just wish things would be better thats all. I know that I have all the time in the world to find someone but after being married I just wanted to settle down and be comfortable again. Now I feel like I am back in the world searching...which I dont want to be doing at all.
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[=Digitalrob=] "Animal...its a lifestyle." -24 years old -230 @ 12% -6'3" Goals For Rest of 2008/Early 2009 Weight: 250
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06-19-2006, 01:35 PM
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Sometimes you don't have to search, sometimes they find you when you least expect it. That's what happen to me. 11 years and still strong. keep your head up bro. Like I said listen to your heart and make the right decision, cause making the wrong one, can come back and bite you in the A**
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If I am not back in five mins wait longer.!!
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06-19-2006, 02:16 PM
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1. Married 10 months @ 22 years old.
2. Wife won't stand by you but listens to parents. 3. Parents put you down. 4. 22 years old (oh, I said that but it bears repeating). Advice and encouragement from a guy old enough to be your dad... Cut your losses and move on. You will never get any love or respect as a husband and as a man from that family; your wife has already shown you will get none from her. I am sorry for you. You are young enough to put it behind you.
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06-19-2006, 02:20 PM
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If we have nothing to split up and can settle out of court is it expensive?
__________________
[=Digitalrob=] "Animal...its a lifestyle." -24 years old -230 @ 12% -6'3" Goals For Rest of 2008/Early 2009 Weight: 250
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06-19-2006, 02:48 PM
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I don't think you need to go looking for the enemy. He's going to look for you. Willie Aames
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06-19-2006, 02:59 PM
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For me I found Bodybuilding to be therapeutic, and no matter how bad I feel I still get a look or two from females and if I want to I can hook up very easily. Just a suggestion that might be worth trying
__________________
I don't think you need to go looking for the enemy. He's going to look for you. Willie Aames
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06-19-2006, 03:15 PM
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1. if she is really seeing another guy and they get serious, she WILL want a divorce....make her initiate it if its an issue. 2. take out a HUGE loan/mortgage and then get a divorce...she can pay half of it. imagine your ex-wife paying half for a sweet porsche.  3. dont grovel....take it like a man...chin up. her parents and her have disrespected you enough already. if she wants to come back, accept, nail her one last time and then send her packing back home to mommy and daddy.
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06-19-2006, 03:16 PM
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06-19-2006, 03:18 PM
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06-19-2006, 03:24 PM
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06-20-2006, 07:13 AM
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I honestly think getting married at the age of 22 is way too young...you are still changing as a person...how old is she? younger? If she is she does still belong at home with mommy and daddy...
Anyway, she is supposed to be married to you and not her parents...I've seen sooooo much of that happening lately....IN LAWS getting involved...its a BAD thing... Move on life is too short...remember there is always someone better!  Dont get married until at least 29 or 30 in opinion....
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06-20-2006, 08:05 AM
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Consistency and discipline are everything! Without goals your going nowhere.
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06-20-2006, 09:35 AM
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I setup an appt with a lawyer for next tuesday. So we will see how that goes I guess.
__________________
[=Digitalrob=] "Animal...its a lifestyle." -24 years old -230 @ 12% -6'3" Goals For Rest of 2008/Early 2009 Weight: 250
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06-20-2006, 11:14 AM
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digitalrob,
You are so very young, i also married the first time very young and quickley had three children, it was so hard trying to make ends meet. at least you and your wife havent had any children yet. sounds like you had four people in your marriage? and that you were the least important. Give yourself some time, dont rush into a divorce, if she wants one let daddy pay for it. dont worry what she is doing just take time healing yourself and caring for yourself. and eventually the pain will go away, the memorys wont but it wont hurt so much. Sounds like you loved her a lot and i am sorry that it turned out that way, but as others have said there are plenty more fish in the sea. and you have plenty of time left to fish. take care, sunday
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06-20-2006, 11:25 AM
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 I know there are more fish, its just rough cause you find that one thing thats supposed to be the "sure thing" in life...your best friend. I am fine with waiting on the divorce...its just I am covering her health insurance for 185 a month and i cant afford it. I mean she had a babysitting thing going which was bringing in about 300 a month which paid for our entertainment and her insurance. My benefits dept wont cut her until I have proof that she is either insured elseware (which I know she is but she wont give me documentation nor even talk to me for that matter) or if I provide legal documentation of seperation or divorce. Financially its killing me since she abandoned me with an apt and utilities that I cant afford on my own. Anyone know of a legal way to go about finding out if she has insurance elseware? I mean I am her husband so there has to be a way I can find out.
__________________
[=Digitalrob=] "Animal...its a lifestyle." -24 years old -230 @ 12% -6'3" Goals For Rest of 2008/Early 2009 Weight: 250
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06-20-2006, 11:39 AM
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