Skittsofrinik's "Self Reconciliation" Log

[Skittsofrinik]

. Hello, BBFY Forums! This is my first thread, and will be the most important one I ever make. As with everyone else I have seen, let me begin with my story.

. I am ashamed of what my body has become, and it is finally time for me to take action once again. I feel as if everything I worked for throughout those last two years is gone, almost. I say almost because my precursing actions have changed me in every positive way possible. My posture, my build, my attitude, my soul, even my personality. Some people say I even have this walk of confidence to me now that was never there before.

. It's all because I am no longer what I use to be, a walking blob. I changed into this, entity, of muscle and definition I never knew was capable of by my body. I promised I would never be a blob again, but that seems to be slipping away from me with every moment. I went from a 230 pound blob of crap to a 164 pound monster. Ever since I reached that peak moment, though, I can feel the negative energy coming back over me leading up to me becoming a mixed mass at 210 pounds. I now have this shell of fat over my muscles, preventing me from being what I once was. It is hiding the monster within that I use to have, as well as stopping me from growing physically, as well as socially once more.

. To put my situation into simple man's terms, I use to be a fat SOB when I was younger. My freshman year of high school I started wrestling, and I grew in every way possible and lost so much weight down to 164, my lowest point ever. I busted my ass off in the gym over the summer and had some great gains added to my new frame, which changed my definition and posture and so on. My sophomore year I repeated the process, and that summer I done the same again. I decided to take my Junior year off of wrestling to do better on some grades, although I done track, but I threw shot so that didn't help lose weight at all. My weight seemed to come back fast, and it was my entire fault, and I know that.

. No one thinks I am going to wrestle again next year. They are wrong. It will be my senior year, and I am going to shine brighter than ever before. I done wrestling to begin with to change myself and prove people wrong about me and my will and who I truly was. I am out to do it again.

. So, the plan? Get ripped, of course. But with me, you see, I have done this before. I can play dirty against myself and win. That is how I won in the first place against myself. I have a strong will and an undefeatable confidence. That's what makes me better.

. I am out to change myself again, but this time I intend to push myself even further, and, in the end, keep what I earn for the rest of my life and grow with it. I am still young, and this is a great time to get the job done, sad thing is I have to do this for the second time already.

. I have changed from what I once was, and it is time to change that - It is time to do what I've done before, only this time, do it better, and when I am done, accel even further.

. It's time to reconcile with myself.

[Skittsofrinik]

. The picture you are about to see is pretty horrid. I don't have any of me before when I was really fat becuase I wouldn't be in a picture at all, and I don't have any of me after becuase I was still not big on cameras and I never had a digital cam nor a scanner. Yeah, pretty gay.

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. I have a lot of work to do, as you can see. I am ashamed of what I am now, not what I use to be, which is still there, so I am not ashamed to post these. Serves as extra encouragement to make your all's eyes pop out when I'm done! ^_^'

[Skittsofrinik]

. Ok, the final preperation post before this all starts tomorrow.

. Here is the split:
. Sunday - HIIT
. Monday - Upper
. Tuesday - Lower
. Wednesday - HIIT
. Thursday - Upper
. Friday - HIIT
. Saturday - Lower

. The HIIT, I am not sure where I will begin, more than likely 10 minutes, since I am not bad at running and am really used to sprinting alot. Here are the workouts:

. - Upper Body Workout -
. DB Bench Press
. DB Incline Bench Press
. Concentration Curls
. Tricep Kickbacks
. Alternate Curls
. French Press
. Bent Over Rows
. Military Press
. Single Arm Rows
. Lateral Raises
. Weighted Shrugs
. Front Raises
. Overhead Raises
. Crunches
. Mile Run Cool Down

. - Lower Body Workout -
. Mile Run Warm Up
. Front Leg Raises
. Lateral Leg Raises
. Weighted Calf Raises
. Weighted Lunges
. Resisted Calf Raises
. Lying Leg Raises
. Standing Squats
. Standing Dead Lifts
. Overhead Squats
. Crunches

. Next up, of course is the diet... quite simple. Tons of proteins! The only carbohydrates I intend to take in are those of which that are included with the protein shakes, and maybe an occasional bowl of oatmeal. I eat a lot of meats, jerky, pepperoni, chicken, steak, as well as my veggies. The diet is really clean and organized, and the last time I done it it worked awesome, so it's not a big concern to me. My protein intake was way over what I needed, so yes, it's not a worry to me as is with most others.
. The worry, of course, is burning off more calories than I take in. No problem right? Right, but I like to push the envelope. A pound has 3500 calories, and I intend to create a difference margin as close to that as possible every single day.

. Call me crazy if you must, but I am determined, and as of the moment I wake up tomorrow morning, it all begins again. Feel free to comment.

. I shall return tomorrow for Day 1's log. Until then, Godspeed...

[Skittsofrinik]

Day 1

8:30 AM = Took CLA, Flax Oil, and one Rev XP (I swear buy that sh!t)
10:30 AM = Oreos (4) w/280 cals, 2g Protein
1:30 PM = Jerky w/160 cals, 24g Protein, Flax Oil, one Rev XP
3:30 PM = DelMonte Apple Parfait w/120 cals, 2g Protein
6:00 PM = Lower Workout w/ 150 cals burned
9:00 PM = SmartChoice Pinini w/ 300 cals, 24g Protein
10:00 PM = CLA, Flax Oil, 3 Lean XP (Still not too sure of this stuff.)

Calories Consumed = + 860
Cals Burned @ Work = - 515
Cals Burned from Bike = - 370
Cals Burned from Lifting = - 145

Total = 175 Cal Deficit and 52g Protein

Comments = Wow, pretty bad first day. Work was a pain in the ass, it was busy non stop and the water from the tap is freakin nasty so I couldn't mix my shakes up and was forced to eat junk in the little time that I had available to me. The deficit sucks and I didn't eat enough today, and the protein intake is a shame due to that trash I ate. You learn from your mistakes however. Tomorrow, I am coming prepared. I am bringing my own water for the shakes, and today I got my hands on some CEE so I am going to give that a shot while I get this weight off and add some more lean mass at the same time. I have never used CEE before, only pure monohydrate, and it done wonders for me. Something tells me tomorrow I will be alot happier. It's HIIT day tomorrow, and that is fun to me! I also have a cute pink pedometer now to see what I actually burn at work, and for use as I run, so yes, I am pretty excited. I'll wash my truck as well for a bit more cals, as well as an advnace on that farmer's tan.

Godspeed...

[vassille]

regardless of how you look at least you have the balls to do something about it.

[Casey]

Good **** man sounds like you have alot of determination. Make sure to eat more in the coming days, and often. Enjoy your HIIT, and knowing youl be back where you were at before you know it. Time really flys by, gotta stay motivated! I'd say good luck, but you dont need it, kick some ass man.

[Cammo]

Originally Posted by vassille

regardless of how you look at least you have the balls to do something about it.

Bump to that!

Quite a few exercises you got running there!

[Skittsofrinik]

. Hell yea guys, just like the old days to me. lol I am a LOT more organized today and plan on gettin this right. It's alot harder at work than school for some reason, but I've been known for finding ways around things. Those little powered mixer cup things come in handy. I'd exnay yesterday and restart today becuase it sucked so much ass, but that wouldn't be fair. Leave my X on the wall so I know they stay there, makes you do more right. I wasn't expecting many comments since yesterday sucked so much I figured I'd come off as a goof. *sigh Thanks guys! IDK how much reading I've done around here and the rest of the internet past few months to get everything right, but hey, I do what works.

[narcsarge]

Look, you obviously had the determination, far beyond most kids your age, to say ENOUGH. You cut to 164! Extraordinary. Now, you are getting to your late teens and I am sure that you may have more mass now do to increase hormone production. Yes you have added BF but who of us on here haven't? You know how to get back down to a decent weight and a weight where you can maintain to achieve your wrestling goals. No one can tell you what you already know. Hey, multimillionares will tell you that they have made millions, lost millons, and made millions again. Why? The first time is the hardest. After that, you know what to do and how to do it. It is not new. I also think, in the long run, that you will have to keep your body weight pretty stable, maybe slide 10-15 pounds, during the off-season. Just a suggestion but huge swings in weight will do some damage to your skin. Not to mention your ego!

[Skittsofrinik]

Day 2

8:30 AM = Raisins w/34 cal, 1g
10:15 AM = Jerky w/160 cal, 24g and CLA, Flax Oil, as well as Rev XP (3)
12:15 PM = Fish Fillet (2) w/ 180 cal, 34g
4:00 PM = Flax Oil, Rev XP (3)
7:00 PM = 12oz Steak w/600 cal (I was like wtf!), 30g
10:00 PM = 10min HIIT, and 900 cals on the exercise bike...
11:00 PM = Flax Oil, CLA, Lean XP (4)

Calories Consumed = + 985
Cals from Bike = - 900
Cals from Work = - 400
Cals from HIIT = Who knows?

Total = 315 Calorie Deficit and 65g Protein

Comments = Sorry I waited till today for that, it was late. My protein intake isn't as high as it was my last diet, that shall change. And that steak, holy crap, I looked it up after I ate it and bout soiled myself, so i burned the whole damn thing off and more after I got home. I learned my lesson on that one. I enjoy writing everything down and posting it like this while I go through it, it's letting me catch my kinks so I can fix them. Thanks for the comments too, btw. When I cut down to 164 it was basically eat no carbs and haul balls running everyday. I'm trying to do it a better way this time, but it looks like it is going to be a lot slower. I'd do it the old school way as well, but I have no idea what I'd actually be using as far as energy to record it. Oh well. I shall return this evening for today's events so far.

Godspeed...

[Skittsofrinik]

Sorry I'm a day late on posting it...

Day 3

11:30 AM = CEE, Flax Oil, CLA
12:00 PM = Upper W/O
1:30 PM = CEE, PWO Shake w/180cal and 34g, RevXP(3)
2:00 PM = Jerky w/90cal and 15g, Flax
6:00 PM = Jerky w/90cal and 15g, RevXP(3)
12:00 AM = One slice of a pubwich, ?cal and ?g

Known Intake = + 360
Workout = -290
Biking = - 300

Total = 230 Calorie Deficit and 64g

Comments = Work was, well, horrible. Backed up from the moment I clocked in until the moment I clocked out, and the workout completly drained me this morning, given it was the first one in a few months, and a lot harder than my old ones. That's the way it should be, right? Thought so... I'm curious to see where the CEE will take me after it has the time to kick in. I had no time to eat today, and after I got home I was so f'n tired I couldn't get off the couch so I had some left overs and passed out. Way to go me...

Godspeed...

[Skittsofrinik]

Today, July the 4th, BLEGH!!

Day 4 Hey, the fours match up! How clever of me...

CEE
Lower W/O, 100cal on Bike
RevXP(3), Flax, CLA
Hotdog, Hamburger Patty w/Cheese
Rice Cake(2) w/100cal and ?g, Flax
Chicken Breast(2)
Flax, LeanXP(4)

Comments = I'm sorry, but I worked out, and I was dead. I didn't bother to write anything down for the day, sort of a shame, but I didn't mind given I was tired as hell from yesterday still and had a major migraine. July the 4th equals a nice bit of protein. I'm not worried on my intake for today. I was, however, brave enough to step on the scale this morning before I worked out to discover I lost 2 pounds, which is not bad I don't suppose. I forgot to mention for yesterday I tweaked the workout as I went through it to fit me a bit better, and rearranged some exercises for next time. Done the same today as well.

I apologize for the sloppiness and uninformativeness of today's entry, but I was drained.

Godspeed, until tomorrow, when I have that diet thing figured out.

[Skittsofrinik]

Ok, so I forgot to mention the fact that I was going to the beach for a week, heh? Weight is about the same, I ate "well" but that was a filet mignon every night, not too cheap... ^_^ I'm going to use the same weight sets again starting tomorrow, but the diet and cardio, I'm going oldschool. Wrestler's mentality is setting in fast as I see how I need to get this all off.. I would continue to record everything I do, but that is too much work for me given I have to work, and do other things through the day, and the actual diary aspect of it keeps me up late as I try and recall it all and type it up for my own use, which I don't really need to do. I got the pics, that's what matter's most I suppose. I'm just going to creep my way around the forums as a normal user until August 24th, then I'll post my first set of after pics in that section until November rolls around. Down to 170 from 210 in 40 days. Easy... nostalgia works, my friends. So, this thread is left to die until I get to 170 and I will start a new one that I can take more seriously since the work from there will be much harder, yet more important. Until then, thanks for the comments and Godspeed...