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Old 07-21-2006, 05:09 AM
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Default How to impress the ladies
25 WAYS TO IMPRESS YOUR GIRL

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other girls arse. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny.
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Old 07-21-2006, 05:34 AM
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I bet you're a real hit with the ladies!
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Old 07-21-2006, 05:36 AM
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I bet you're a real hit with the ladies!
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Old 07-21-2006, 05:37 AM
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No Wonder!!!!
Here I thought that most guys were just a$$holes. Now I find out that they've just been trying to impress me?
WOW! Thanks for posting this.
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Old 07-21-2006, 05:46 AM
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Originally Posted by jennyd
No Wonder!!!!
Here I thought that most guys were just a$$holes. Now I find out that they've just been trying to impress me?
WOW! Thanks for posting this.
Bwahhh! Nope! You were right! We are a$$holes!
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Old 07-21-2006, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by jennyd
No Wonder!!!!
Here I thought that most guys were just a$$holes. Now I find out that they've just been trying to impress me?
WOW! Thanks for posting this.
Hey JennyD, he is a catch.. But I saw him first, so keep your Hands OFF!!!

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Old 07-21-2006, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by CubanChick
Hey JennyD, he is a catch.. But I saw him first, so keep your Hands OFF!!!
LOL...well, I'm thinking that you can have him. I think I'd rather take someone NOT trying to impress me, if this is how impressing the ladies works.
He's all yours sweety.
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Old 07-21-2006, 11:01 AM
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lmao^^^ funny sh!t
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Old 07-21-2006, 11:48 AM
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good find!!! lol
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Old 07-21-2006, 04:20 PM
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roflmfao

I especially like the one where you mouth "fvck you" at her...
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Old 07-21-2006, 04:27 PM
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roflmfao

I especially like the one where you mouth "fvck you" at her...
Yes...that one was VERY impressive when it was done to me.
It really does work....try it.
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Old 07-21-2006, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by jennyd
Yes...that one was VERY impressive when it was done to me.
It really does work....try it.
lol, I really hope someone believes it'll work and tries it...I want to see a video including her kicking his arse...

much like this one : http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=417
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Old 07-22-2006, 05:50 PM
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also, sorry that happened to you, no-one deserves that - I just found the idea of someone taking it seriously funny...
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Old 07-22-2006, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by howardalex
also, sorry that happened to you, no-one deserves that - I just found the idea of someone taking it seriously funny...
LOL...thanks for the sympathy, but I was joking.
That's never happened to me.
I would probably laugh if someone tried that though.
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Old 07-22-2006, 06:46 PM
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Too bad I wasnt single, I could use some of these...






And yes, Im joking...
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Old 07-23-2006, 01:21 AM
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LOL...thanks for the sympathy, but I was joking.
That's never happened to me.
I would probably laugh if someone tried that though.
I actually saw a guy in bar go up to ladies and simply ask: "Want to f***?" He was slapped about a dozen times but someone did say yes. He just walked out with this lady and I was like "Damn!" I was so surprised!
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Old 07-23-2006, 02:11 AM
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i actually rofled at this. great post
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Old 07-23-2006, 02:20 AM
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I can't say it's all BAD advise... The following could improve your chances if you do it right...

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

... I do this, chicks love it. Just not on to the cement. Like a into a bed or in the grass ...

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

... Well, something like this. I don't usually apologise to a woman unless I feel I did something wrong, not just because she was upset by my actions. And then you suggest that they are upset because they are needy or irrational. They will call you and apologise. Works great. Saying sorry for every little thing makes you look weak and insincere ...

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

... Meh, some girls prolly dig this. I would test the waters before going all sadist on her ...

16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

... Just don't be a wuss about it. If a girl finds out you're a wuss, she'll take you for all you've got then dump you for a real man ...

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

... Confident (high self worth), mysterious, spontaneous, intelligent men with a good sense of humor are VERY attractive to women ...

I used to be one of those "nice" guys until I grew some balls. You guys probably think I'm an ass, and I might be. But the truth is, women are MUCH happier and more attracted to a guy who gets what he wants and doesn't put up with her **** than the sweetest guy in the world who will give her everything she wants.

Also, don't date only one woman at a time. You don't get to see what else is available, and you can end up being too needy. She won't respect you if you're needy. And do you really think she's only dating one guy? LOL. Most girls will agree with me that guys should date multiple women at a time until you get serious. Then being monogamous is the better choice.

I'm not saying I'm great with women or anything, because I'm not. I have a lot of self inflicted women troubles. But to have women troubles you need women, and there's no shortage here.

Am I right, or am I just an ass? Girls, what do you think?
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