Why is meeting the parents so hard?

[man_i_dono]

its almost lunar new yr so i brought some presents to my gf's parents.. it was horrifying.. i mean ive been over there a bunch of time to tutor my gf's sister.. and i brought gifts over a few times.. but damn.. scary as hell.. dont know what to say, what to do.. i never have trouble talking to older adults.. if anything all of my friends' parents love me.. but her parents.. gosh.. i can't even open my mouth.. yea .. i mean that whole be yourself thing.. easier said than done.. =(

[fadi]

you are banging their daughter and you are not comfortable about being around them cause of it.

[Euphrates]

This has guilty written all over it... Whats the real reason you have a hard time with it?

No seriously though, just get her dad on his own be real cool about it ask for his permission to take her out or to date her. If you haven't asked him already. (Did you?). Men love respect don't be too soft though he will read it. And with the mom just tell her how nice her home is and how well she raised her daughter. Make em feel full of themselves thats what they really want...

Also help out with chores, man if her dads into fixing cars help there or take out their trash. They will be like damn this boy's got manners and he is sociable too!! See, if you have nothing to talk with them about, or you are afraid to help out they will think you are sneaky like you have something to hide.

Let me know how it goes bro, and good luck!

[man_i_dono]

Originally Posted by fadi

you are banging their daughter and you are not comfortable about being around them cause of it.

i nvr though you would say stuff like this. But no, I respect her decision, and am waiting till marriage..

[Timothy]

The way I'd handle the situation is to convice myself that I don't feel threatened by them, but that I also don't have to talk to them. Acting uncomfortably will only make them suspicious of you. (I don't mean to scare you, but it's true.)

Helping out with chores never hurt, either.

[fadi]

Originally Posted by man_i_dono

i nvr though you would say stuff like this. But no, I respect her decision, and am waiting till marriage..

The behavior you are demonstrating is most likely based on your fear of providing negative perception of yourself to them or fear they may think you are doing something wrong. I said what I said because it is common in western culture and if that was the case, your behaviour was a good behavior not a bad one

Have you though about talking to the parents and asking them how they feel about you and explain to them how you are feeling? heart to heart talk and facing your anxiety towards them can help mitigate the problem.

Sorry I came out too strong

[man_i_dono]

asian parents are very strict because they have that mentality of them being superior htan their kids and they know best.. i highly doubt i can heart to heart talk with them .. its okay i guess.. although i didnt score really high, i didnt really screw anything up.. haha.. thanks everyone for their advices.. just wondering how old are u fadi?

[fadi]

I'm 33 year old

[man_i_dono]

so young.. im 34

[fadi]

ahhh but its in the life experience not in the age

[theara]

Being asian, i have the same problems too.

my parents and any girl's parents i meet hates me

[fadi]

heh sucks to be you... I had parents of a friend try to talk me into marrying their daughter... and a restaurant owner keeps trying to talk me into going out with her niece and even invited me to her house to meet the family.

[RRAdam]

Dads hate boyfriends, no way around that. so do brothers.

[man_i_dono]

just kidding im 21 .. i wish all asianparents were like mine.. they're so understanding and considerate.. any one meet them will agree.. but unfortunately.. not all are like that.. haha i had parents joke about going out with their daughter too.. its really awkward

[TrainedMind]

Beer and snacks always works well. Find out what her dad likes and bring a case...He'll be your best bud. If they are filipino bring tanduay (not beer) if they are japanese sake is the best. Thailand? damn! spiked thai ice tea. Laos?anything works just not miller light. Chinese? Miller light..There ya go. an arsenal of butt kissing. GOODLUCK!