[cwcollins]

Hey Everyone,

I’m Monica; my screen name is cwcollins (that’s my sons name Chase Walker Collins). I’m 30, I’m married, still somewhat newly, about a 1-½ years & my son is the same age as my marriage. We currently live in Little Rock, Arkansas; my husband is an E4, about to be Staff, the US Air force. I am originally from Hilton Head, SC & I am a true East Coast gal with southern roots I am very proud of.

Like so many others am I am survivor of Bulimia & Anorexia – for about 3 years of my life, maybe more. I worked for Outback Steakhouse for 8 years in Management – in that time, along with being in a physically & emotionally abusive relationship I learned to hate food & it became the only thing I control. Don’t get me wrong, Outback is great, but I was working 60+ hour workweeks, my soul job was training & maintaining quality within the restaurant, I suddenly found myself hating the smells & anything remotely associated with food. It was my defense against a man was & is a piece of ****. My life took a drastic change 3 ½ years ago while in a fight with my ex, I took about a bottle of Tylenol PM, not wanting to die, but wanting to go to sleep, in hopes when I would awake I would not have to fight anymore & was scared for my life – what I didn’t know was I was about 30 minutes from losing my life, as taking the Tylenol caused an overdose & it could of killed my liver, which in turn would of killed me. I was finally treated for my eating disorder, finally, because I had reached out so many times, but no one thought it was real – my mom even told me “eating disorders don’t run in our family” – like that meant something?

I know, looking back, I have always battled my weight, throughout high school I was the big boned girl, funny, because I am so far from being big boned, but I knew no difference, however, I did run track & I was a lot of muscle. My mom is & always will be a binge dieter, trying to get the quick fix & hope for lasting results – crazy, she’s a lost cause when it comes to diets. Unfortunately, she was my mentor with food, so maybe that’s where it all began.

Now, I am healthy, I’m in a better relationship, my husband has many faults, but he’d never hit me or belittle me. Becoming pregnant, even though he was not planned, was a sure blessing in disguise; it saved my life & allowed me to find Monica & who she really is. From my eating disorder I have learned so much about fitness & good eating habits so, in some ways it gave me something great – something I am thankful for. I truly do not live my life through mistakes & with regrets, I was given a true second chance, so I learn, become stronger & move on.

Since having Chase I lost more weight than many new moms, because of my breastfeeding for so long, in fact I am smaller in weight than before I was pregnant, but I am not as tone. I am getting there. Since joining the board I have seen improvements, I have gotten some great workout advise & seeing the results is a fabulous feeling. I’m in a good place with my workout I like it, it feels good & I hope to return to the gym soon, but for now I am content. I really enjoy the board & look forward to gaining more insight & making more board buddies!

Monica